Planning a wedding is stressful. In my experience helping brides plan their weddings in Norfolk, I have found that there are usually solutions to the most common reasons for anxiety and I have compiled them here for your convenience.

1. The groom is not helping!

This often gets brides really tense! They are planning for what seems like a 24-7 basis and the groom doesn’t seem too bothered. There are a number of reasons for this.

• He thinks that it has always been your dream to plan the perfect wedding – he doesn’t want to upset you by telling you what he thinks. He is happy to trust your judgement.

 

• He actually isn’t too concerned! This is the one which really irritates brides, but sometimes grooms are not as into the planning as brides are. Don’t mistake this in thinking that he doesn’t care about the wedding and ultimately marrying you – he just simply isn’t into the planning like you are.

 

• He sees it as only flowers, dresses cakes etc. He isn’t really into these items.

To overcome the issue, involve him in parts where he would likely have more interest. Ask him about the type of music he wants at the wedding, the entertainment he may want, the food and menu etc. He would feel far more comfortable picking these than chair covers, sashes or flowers!

 

2. What if the suppliers don’t turn up on the day?

When you meet the suppliers you have chosen, you will get the feel for their honesty and professionalism. Your caterer, band, DJ, or photographer, are all professional and will not let you down. If this is your concern and route of stress, simply make a list of contact numbers and have them handy for the day. A simple text message to confirm times a week before the wedding will result in a reply from them too – this will certainly make you feel more confident over the issue. In addition to this, you will actually find that any reputable wedding supplier will contact you in the upcoming weeks or week – so don’t worry!

3. I don’t want my great aunt twice removed coming to my wedding!

Parents often feel that they have a large say in the guest list. This they feel justified by since they often input money into the reception. So when they insist on some distant relative coming and you have run out of space, tension can mount!

Solution? Stand your ground! It is YOUR wedding day, not theirs! But find a middle ground by suggesting a post-wedding party reception once you have returned from your honeymoon. The extended family could celebrate with you then. As a result, your parents will relax on the issue.

4. The parents are taking over!

While on the above point, perhaps they just want to completely take over the planning? Much worse than point number 3! The best solution is to sit down and chat with them about what you want. You do have to listen to them – if they are paying they don’t want to feel like an ATM machine!

But make sure you are in charge! Make a shortlist of suppliers you are interested in, perhaps 3 DJs, 3 magicians, 3 caterers, 3 florists etc. Now allow them to help you narrow the short list down to your final, chosen suppliers. This way, they do have input, but you have control since you are happy with any of the suppliers chosen – because you have done your research and given your parents a limited selection. As a result, you will have control whereas parents feel they that they have (some) control.

5. The groom wants a blow-out stag do!

Be careful here – this is a big deal for a groom. He really will want a great stag do if he is insisting on having a large weekend away. You shouldn’t demand that he changes his plans since this will cause friction. However, you should insist that it is at least 2 weeks before your wedding day! Sometimes boys can get very excited when away on a stag do, and he may need a few days to recover!

Plan your Hen night for the same night/weekend. This way you wont be stuck at home constantly thinking about what he is getting up to.

6. Will my guests have fun? I don’t want them to be bored.

So many couples are genuinely concerned over this; and they are right to be. In a recent survey carried out by Bride and Groom magazine, 72% of recent brides said that they wished they had spent more time planning their entertainment and 100% wished they had spent a larger chunk of their budget helping their guests staying happy with professional entertainment or planned activities and games.

You don’t have to go crazy though. Make sure there is some great music, drinks, family and friends and you are on to a winner. But don’t forget what the previous brides have reported. Spend a little on garden games, a magician, a great DJ etc and you can ensure your guests will stay happy.

7. It’s going to rain!

This is particularly a concern for outdoor weddings, obviously! But any wedding is enhanced with some outdoor time and space so it can be ruined if there is rain and no back-up plan. You will need to liaise plans with your venue. If they are charging extra for a large indoor space, you have to evaluate if it’s worth it. Chances are, it will be worth it if it rains.

Hold back some money from the budget. If it is forecast rain, buy some umbrellas for your guests to offer them some help. The women will especially appreciate this with their expensive hair

 

General tips for staying organised and less stressed

What else can you do to overcome wedding planning stress? Here are some general suggestions:

Make a wedding checklist. This way you know how far along the road you are to getting everything sorted correctly. A great one can be found here (although it has American spellings).

Remember – entertainment of some type is essential. Even if it’s only a DJ. Request a quote for my magic and balloon service here and you will receive a 14 steps to successful wedding entertainment planning checklist. This is a very helpful pdf guide to help you plan out your wedding entertainment choices.

On the last month up to the wedding you are more likely to feel the stress. Don’t fight this by staying up late trying to organise seating plans, last minute suppliers etc. Get some sleep. You will feel far more energised and ready to beat any challenge with a night’s rest rather than a stressful late evening.

 

And finally, don’t overdo everything! If you turn into a Bridezilla, people will get tired of you and you may find yourself getting more stressed as less people feel the want to help you. Stay positive and be organised. The checklist above will help you with this.

Happy wedding planning,

Nick Twist